Tuesday, August 11, 2015

...tis a gathering

I'm very excited for today. I've got my friends coming over for a play date.

When I was a kid we didn't make play dates; there was no point because I would see and talk to my friends every single day. I would go to school and there they were, in my classes or in the hallways. We would have lunch together. We would leave school at the same time and, because I couldn't bear to spend another second apart from them I would stay after school and hang out on the street talking to them some more, until the very last absolute second when I had to leave. I would walk out of my door and enter the world of 'with friends' and not leave it until the second I pulled out my keys to unlock my door again and was home. I love thinking about this time in my life; because I was completely part of a group. I belonged to a group of people who cared about me and wanted me around as much as I wanted to be with them.


Yeah, good times.

I remember being a kid and thinking about what it would be like to have a job and be all grown up; I thought I would be simply doing an exchange. I was trading 'school time' for 'job time'. Both required me to be at a fixed place doing fixed things for periods of time every day, so I didn't see a difference.

In my case, the difference was that I didn't stay in my old neighborhood. So for me to see those old friends now takes a whole lot of effort, coordination, patience, and some last minute phone calls and text messaging.

But it's totally worth it to see my friends again. It feels like this.



Laurel Landes said...

I have a different experience. We moved a lot and I left school early. My longest friendship began when I was in my 20's. I still get excited when I see old friends. It is as if nothing changed.

ES said...

I know how you feel. As an adult now, with kids of my own, i find that i struggle with this on two fronts.

First, as you mention, i struggle to find that friend time for myself -- as most of my best friends are also adults with kids wrapped up in their own lives.

On the second front, though, i find myself struggling with how to create the environment for _my_ kids. This seems much harder than it used to be. Neighborhoods and communities aren't what they used to be. Kids don't just "go out and play" anymore. Even the child of mine who's in school has to "arrange" friend-time outside of school hours. True, there are some good reasons for some of these new tendencies, but not all. It's hard to evaluate if what we've gained is worth what we've given up.

Janet said...

Thanks Laurel. It sounds like you've got some good strong friendships.

Janet said...
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Janet said...

Thanks ES. I'm hearing you say that it's hard to do. It's hard to keep those friendships going and to build opportunities for friendships for our kids.

If that's your point then I agree.